Amazing article! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 My husband and I are both American, but we were married in Hong Kong. His family is from there. Before the wedding, everyone laid off. I was independent, capable of making my own decisions without any type of remarks from family. Oh hell. I had no idea that in 2019 marriage was still perceived as such an antiquated social union. On the wedding day, despite being very firm and clear about what I was and wasn’t going to do, his family came out if left field pushing me to speak and act in a certain way. They just assumed I’d obey. I didn’t. The wedding pictures came out a little awkward because I made clear that I wasn’t going to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. Let’s not forget the many comments about how I don’t “need" nice things because I’ll just be and I quote “changing poopy diapers anyway.” What the actual hell? My own family has completely changed their tone with me as well. I don’t even think they realize how their behavior perpetuates gender roles. Everything I do is cute or a “hobby.” Not something permanent. You know. For when “babies happen.” My husband? Oh. His job is so “respectable” and “provides" for his family. I’m a freaking human rights lawyer. THAT’S a hobby? We were looking into working in Singapore last year. We met with some of my husband’s former friends. This one man literally said that I could just “volunteer” and perhaps “teach English” to children because that’s what I needed to be doing as a wife. Oh. My God. Anyway, girl, I digress. Thank you again for writing this.

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